Eighteen single, dressed up, sexy, giving the glad eye ladies. What can dream a bachelor about else? Especially if the hotties don’t block counter with drink? About the only thing – immediate annihilation of 17 single, laughing, elegant dandies, attentively staring at the islands of twitter. For a while, the mise-en-scene resembles discotheque for teenagers: boys are honking loudly and drink alcohol in the one corner, and girls are giggling and straightening attires. Everything that is a new trend brought by some rabbi to the USA. You can read about it in my recent posts.
The rabbi’s task was simple: introduce good Jewish girls with good boys, who have (car-computer-meeting-report-lunch-TV) no free time to find each other. The rabbi proposed a solution as much elegant as cosher, turning the first meeting into a cruel game with rules. A carefree animator with a badge “Icebreaker” explains us those rules: her task is to break and melt ice, paralyzing any company of unfamiliar people.
Everything is simple. Everyone has a badge with name and number from 1 to 18. Numbers stand, also, on the tables in the bar. Every girl finds a table with the same number she has, and suitors will sit down beside to her, also with numbers from 1 to 17. She has three minutes for every new prince, then he moves to another princess. Everybody has a ruled sheet. There are 18 lines and 5 columns: name, yes, no, friend, comments. That sheet is a happy ticket. If you like an interlocutor – mark “yes”, if it’s just pleasant to communicate – “friend”. Everything else – “no”.
We will form an understanding what to do with those sheets in the break, cause the Icebreaker is blowing in whistle and I (with number 18 on my chest) am sitting at table with number 18. 17 stops are ahead.
“Googeveninghowareyouwhatdoyoudoforlivingandwhatdoyoulikeinlife?” The opening is done in the start of every set to find a pretext for conversation. It seems to me I said 18 times what I do for a living, 10 times – If I like it, 8 – what how I spend my free time and whether I am here for the first time. For unknown reason, no one asked me if I know how to give flowers, what woman’s lingerie I like, and if I like drowsy morning sex. Instead that big tits Debora told me about love for horses and football (for that she got firm “no”), ox-eyed Rosy asked if I was in Africa and how usually I meet (get “yes”) and Michael murmured something muffled, nervously grunted and straighten a shoulder-strap on an awful dress.
It is the charm. Even if a stupid cow is in front of you, the most awful you get is a few minutes you waste with her; and you will never see her again. I needed to get fifth girl in order to understand that and hear whistle for a break. There is time to fill in the sheet, mark all “yes”, “no” and “friend” and to try to understand what it has written in the column “comments”. Then, at home, everybody just should log in at a special site and fill in marks opposite all numbers and push “enter”. If somebody from those whom you liked fills in a mark “yes” opposite you, you’ll get contacts of each other.
Whistle. The second round. All girls begin merging in the only one. Who did tell about travel to Africa? Blonde Ann? No, hardly, she spent a half of her time to sing dithyrambs to her company. Hardly, it was her friend, spotty Jill, ending her every phrase with giggling. If only it was Iona, with big breast, marble shoulders and touching ringlets. But I will never recall that. Three minutes – it is too a lot if everything is clear in the first second, or it is not enough if you have something common. But, whistle, and…”it was nice to meet you”….
It’s not surprising that exactly Britain was captivated by adult speed dating. No one has free time here. It is not done to meet the opposite sex outside or into the tube. And you need bravery of sailors living in the epoch admiral Nelson to ask for a telephone number of neighbor or unfamiliar girl at party. Everything is as in the joke: Englishman and Englishwoman have spent for three years at Desert Island, however, haven’t told – nobody introduced them to each other. On the other hand, English people believe professionals. If he goes to a special agency to buy a house – why to let thing slide when you want to find a better half? It’s not surprising that the first marriage agency was opened in the Great Britain, and dating sites appeared there too.
The last round is in front of me, but I am completely tired and can’t ask and answer the same questions. But, to make things worse, the prettiest girl is at the last table. I have 4 times left to tell where I work and where I from. I’ll find out that Olivia likes to laugh at herself, Susanna doesn’t believe that it’s possible to find a prince in this way, and Karen was born in Spain, where oranges are cheaper than bread. Well, I am opposite of Sophia. There are wonderful hazel eyes, a magic smell, everything what’s needed is open, what isn’t needed covered by quite not bad attire. But she had better be silent. I saw such cellophane smiles only at personnel department. I heard such meaningless questions about life only at student drinking-bout. You’ll never see such a doll’s face in puppet theatre.
They are strong fellows, anyway: 18 adult independent women weren’t afraid of coming here. I didn’t know who were my competitors, however with the majority of ladies I’d drink and talk sometime to, and with some of them even…but my dreams won’t come true. In the next day, I found out that no one I wanted to date with didn’t want the same. You can say that it is a game, however, my self-confidence was shaken. I think I’ll see when the next adult speed dating party. They say it absorbs more than casino.
I have nothing to dress at all! Of course, the same tragic feeling appears every morning, when I open a wardrobe. But I don’t date 18 men at once. Three minutes is a song of average duration or, if to believe a statistic, an average sexual intercourse. Such time-keeping requires speed and pressure. However, what to ask an unfamiliar man about? “Don’t you have a habit to throw dirty dress on the floor, can you get into a role of a blind passenger in a car? Don’t you think that condoms with a smell of banana and popcorn should be banned? Won’t my habit to go anywhere without notice in my own birth day as far, as my money allows embarrass you? How about my passion to flirt with men and feel down in the evening?” In some moment, I thought that it would be a good idea to ask suitors to show their socks. It would be funny. However, my attempts to dress for speed dating party are funnier.
The first glance at English ladies dressing tops with naked back, small black dress, fleecy blouses from angora and multi-colored beads give inexpressive relief. Men showed cautious unanimity: 2/3 dressed jeans and striped shirts.
I am getting from a pretty girl a sticky scrap of paper with my name and number (I should stick the scrap somewhere on a visible place, however I don’t feel a moral power for that yet). Going to a counter – there are 20 minutes till an official beginning. With a glass of red wine, I get the first meeting.
Albino Michael with whitish eyelashes not without fear is looking around and says that in his native Australia such quantity of people lives on area a hundred square kilometer. There are cheerfulness and anticipation in the small hall of a restaurant: 36 men and women feel themselves hooligans, who decided not just to gambol a little, but getting pleasure from that in advance. Butterflies engulfed me too, I set off to my table with burning cheeks and a glass of whiskey, feeling myself not so much a hunter as titbit for 18 predators at once.
The first three candidates are spent on realizing real, but not declared, rules of the game. It turns out, that at this first and last interview neither weak questions nor stock questions are important. His attempts to be interesting don’t influence on where the mark appears (“yes”, “no”, “friend”). Really, the choice is made straight away when he has said “Hi”. What’s the matter? It’s his voice? Or it’s a form of his fingers, turning a pen above the form with marks? Or it is his businesslike glance, scanning you with concentration of a veterinarian? “Easy” – I am ordering to myself and trying to listen carefully to what the fifth man is telling me. Btw, the thought to interest if there is a hope to teach me to cook doesn’t occur to him too. Nevertheless, he really will give the previous candidates a start.
David ( about 36 years old, tenacious glance, financier from City) the only one guesses not to heap questions about work and native over me, and just, I fussing, observing the situation. We had had similar views that everything is strange here, but, in general is funny, and decided to drink in a break and part quite satisfied with each other.
In a break between vet Oliver and trader Phil I am talking to touching school teacher Rob, earning extra cleaning hours of Simon: “There he is, see?” I see. Although, I believe I want to see and hear no one anymore. Communication with the first eight was so difficult that I am looking forward to find a suitable reason and slip away unnoticed. But nothing goes into my head, and ten men are ahead. That is 30 minutes.
An agitated girl in the toilet powders nose and says that “everything is so interesting” and she “just came here to keep a friend of her company”. Mechanically think to myself that it’s the most advantageous position for a woman: a choice of potential suitors is large as possible, and she doesn’t gave a reason to cause sympathy as a single failure.
Gloomy mood engulfs me unexpectedly, as butterfly-net a losing vigilance cabbage white butterfly. I don’t have energy to listen to what soft-engineer Frank with appearance of old Garry Potter is telling.
Why am I here? Why are all these people here? Do they really hope to buy a ticket to another life for their 25 pounds? In actual fact the rabbi devised not a way of meeting for two single and very busy halves, but a great way how to squeeze money. They almost don’t have expenditure (service of their adult speed dating site, salary for lease of a hall and a glass of free drink for every participant). They get net profit. About ten speed dating parties per week are carried out in London. However, it is not a reason to believe that an adult speed dating is something more than business, trend or way to while away a free evening. It works as a solving of problem of singleness just as well as marriage advertisements work. Although, compared with marriage agency there is economy of time – it is an overt trump card of adult speed dating, but at the same time, it is the main and insurmountable shortcoming: it’s impossible to find out a truth about a person in front of you. Everyone does want to be someone else, but don’t want to be himself/herself. A temptation to seem better, richer, stronger, more clever and so on is too high. A rare liking appearing on speed dating parties is just an interest of two masks to each other, but not an interest of their owners, trying to deceive fate.
However, it doesn’t matter cause in front of me the last participants is. I am ready to kiss the hindu named Esh, with an awful accent for his badge with number 1. I am ready to kiss him cause soon, after the whistle measuring the next three lost for ever minutes, I will say him good bye and, finally, leave, even run from here. I won’t do up an overcoat, however, will remove the badge cause the person who is waiting for me outside doesn’t need it.